Now, just to get the feel of how I was feeling that night, imagine this. I have been up since about 6 am going to appointments for different things I had that day. So I was running around town with no coffee or caffeine in my system until about noon. Then I had house cleaning and a few other things to do until about 4 at which time I was tired. I almost wanted to skip the movies and take a nap. But I didn't. I changed and got ready for the movies and even went to WalMart to get drinks and candy to sneak into the theater.
If you're still with me here, its now 6.45 pm ad I'm heading into the theater after standing in a line that's half the length on the mall with a bunch of weird people who for some odd reason haven't read the books and have no idea what they are going to be watching in a few hours other than what they know from the first two movies.
Normally things like this are done in Theaters 1, 2, 3, 8, 9, and 10. This one wasn't. It was in theaters 1, 2, 5, and 6. Now my theater is in the middle of being redesigned. So while theaters 1, 2, 3, 8, 9, and 10 have these awesome really comfy big seats, the rest of them have seats that they have had since the 90s and the bottom where its bolted to the ground is rusted and they squeak with every tiny movement. Not very comfortable. At all. And guess what theater I was in. 5, which meant the shittastic seats that needed to become BFFs with the local garbage dump.
But I'm stubborn as hell so I put up with it. And Twilight began. It was cool, could have been better, but I liked it. My mind seemed to decide to also remind me of all the little things I forgot from the book that were and weren't in the movie, which made it even better for me. By now, my ass is asleep and my entire body is in pain from these old shitty seats that I am in. It also doesn't help that I suffer from some not so mild back pain and I hadn't taken any pain killers before going to the movies, nor had I brought any with me.
There was a 5 minute intermission that turned into being a 15 minute one. Me, not knowing this decided to grab my cell and text people who I wish could have come with me and read my book I brought along for the hour before Eclipse started when I would have nothing to do. I wasn't hungry, and even if I was I smuggled in a soda and candy, and at this point I didn't need to use the restroom. So I sat with my ache-y body and numb ass thinking I'd only need to wait five minutes. Yeah...no. It turned into 15 and by the time New Moon started I was very close to asking someone to hold my seat while I walked down to Dollar General to see if they were still open and hopefully buy some extra strength tylenol.
But I didn't want to miss any of New Moon seeing as how I only got to see it once on the big screen the first time around. So I sat. And every time there was a lot of noise I was shifting positions thanks to the shitastic seats tat gave me a numb ass and back pain. New Moon was awesome and Edward breaking the cellphone made me tear up a bit, just like the first time I saw it.
New Moon is over now. I have about 1 hour of waiting in this shitty seat before Eclipse starts. Dollar General is now closed, as is everything else in the mall. And the people sitting next to me have moved to sit with some friends in a different theater with awesomely comfortable seats because they know a guy who works at the theater and is letting them do this. Fuck them. I now have no one to hold my seat and there is no way I am getting up to walk around and leave my purse in my seat for anyone to go through as they wish. I have food and caffinated beverages in it that I do not want stolen. Along with a crappy cellphone, some change, a book from the library that a friend was making me read, and my tickets. And even though I couldn't give a shit less about them, I'd really rather not have them stolen either. 3 of those things I would have to dish out some money to replace that I don't really have at the moment. Plus, I also really didn't want to have my library card taken from me and be banned from the library for a month. That would suck major balls in my opinion. So I sit for an entire fucking hour texting people that I wish were with me and reading while these 8 really fat people that I'm surprised aren't in wheelchairs because that are THAT lazy try to squeeze by me into their seats in the eight inches of space between my legs and the back of the seat in front of them. At one point some lady's ass comes within an inch of my face and I am very close to tripping her or something for doing that because it was a very horrifying four seconds of my life.
Finally Eclipse starts - late I might add, but by the time I see Summit's logo and the solar eclipse comes on the screen I couldn't care less about that because my inner fangirl is being the best fangirl she has ever been. Only problem is that there's only one other person in the entire theater that is also fangirling this movie as hard as I am and she is sitting in the very back while I'm in the third row, first seat. This doesnt' bother me though. Nor does the fact that I am wishing I had a 5 hour fucking nap earlier and I need to piss like niagra falls by this point. Why you may ask? Because Eclipse is turning out to be the second best fantasy film I have seen in a pretty damned long time. the only thing better was Harry Potter, but that's a given.
Let me break it down for you. Basically the best things about Eclispe are as follows, in random order:
- Jaxper's accent. The guy finally get's to say more than two sentences and boy does he nail it. They guy is from the south - both Jasper the character, and Jackson, the actor playing him - and while Jackson normally doesn't have a giant southern twang to his voice or anything, Jasper does. And its not annoying at all, which is saying something for me because I have only heard one southern accent before that DIDN'T annoy the fuck out of me. Its actually pretty damn hot. In fact, I may just have to find a ringtone of him saying something in that voice because its that damned hot. I really want to make it a law that he has to talk in that southern drawl all the time, but I would probably end up dying or exploding or something at some point because I would listen to it all the damned time.
- Leg hitch. If you've read the books or seen the movie, you KNOW what I'm talking about. Its this thing that just makes anyone - except close minded Team Failcob fans - smile and squeal and possibly say something along the lines of "FINALLY" a bit too loudly the first time they read or see it. Because Edward is a huge fucking recluse when it comes to physical stuff. Like Bella told Charlie, Edward is very old fashion. And leg hitch movie version? Yeah...its pretty damned fucking hot. I'm pretty sure if I had a cell phone with video on it, I'd have been recording that shit and added it to my collection of extremely hot non-porn pics, gifs, and video folder on my laptop. It was perfect. Beyond perfect really. Everything was up close and the different shots faded together flawlessly. Think sexy, hot, rated R movie sex that's all close ups and pretty background music with each shot fading into the next one, slightly overlapping and all together it looks sexy and more like making love than hot raunchy sex against a wall or some shit. That's what this little piece of heaven was. Except with clothes on and within the PG-13 rating. Oh and then its all cockblocked from going further by Edward. Yeah. Although I mentally cheered Bella on almost getting Edward's shirt completely off before he stopped her. It was unbuttoned AND untucked fully. *sigh* If only she had pushed it off his shoulders. *ahem* Anyway...
- Tent scene. Nuff said. Its awesome, Edward's moody and pissed just like he should be and Jacob needs his fucking smile smacked off his face. Oh and Bella just get's enough teeth chattering and stuttering in there to make you believe she's cold as hell without going overboard or annoying you with the noises it causes. ;) And this is all without Jacob and Edward even talking. Add that part in and its abso-fucking-lutely perfect.
- Bella punching Jacob. If the weird chick next to me hadn't have been Team Failcob, I would have cheered that girl on like she had just killed the terminator with a machine gun in an all leather suit or some shit. It was amazing. Hilarious, but amazing. Why hilarious you ask? Because Kristen pulls this all serious 'I'm totally going to give him a black eye for this shit' face, and as soon as her fist and his face meet, her jaw drops and her eyes go wide with surprise at how he somehow didn't feel any pain, much less move and she's got what she thinks its a broken hand and possibly a wrist as well. Really, its just plain awesome.
- The third wife. If you would have asked me what would be left out of this movie, the first thing out of my mouth would have been 'the third wife'. But no. It was there. The entire story of the third wife was THERE. And while Jake and Edward don't talk about it, it IS there when Billy talks about it at the counsel meeting. Its all shirtless village full of indians and two vampires and a couple of horse sized wolves all fighting and then this random middle aged chick grabbing her dead son's knife and stabbing herself in the stomach. Yes. Its all in there. I was shocked. And amazed. And really wanting to fly to where ever David Slade was at that moment and give him a giant bear hug.
- Fight scene. All I'm gonna say was that it was awesome and much hotter than it should be seeing as how when someone's dead is punched off - yes, punched off - it looks like broken glass and the sound effects were really odd because these people are vampires and when they collide they sound like fucking boulders colliding for Christ's sake. AKA, much different than humans sound when punching and ripping each other into pieces. The only thing about it was that they kept cutting to Bree a lot, even though she's a nobody until the Volturi get there and Bella sees her (in the book).
- Bree Tanner book scene. Basically, for those who have read Bree Tanner, there's a scene in the movie that basically puts a few different scenes from Bree Tanner into the film, very nicely. Granted, I wish that we got to see Bree and Fred together in there, it was awesome that there was a nod to the novella in there too.
- The proposal...the one where Bella says yes. I'm not saying anything about this other than I can't even remember the last time I cried - because I'm extremely cynical and crying is extremely rare for me - but I cried when this scene was playing. Its amazing and I want to stand up and give it a standing ovation.
- The Cullens. Usually we see a tiny bit of the Cullen clan in the films and not a lot of how close they are all, as well as how close Bella is to them. In this, we get to see it. Not a ton, but for the people who didn't read the books, they now get to understand just how close everyone is better than in Twilight or New Moon. We get to see how even though Jasper has difficulty being around Bella, they do wish that they could be closer, but understand the dangers of that. We get to see just how much Rose and Bella don't get along and how much Emmett loves Bella and how much he sees her as a little sister he never had. We also get to see a bit more of the mother in Esme and how she sees Bella as her own daughter. Just like we also get to see even more how much Alice loves Bella and even though she likes to make her up like a barbie doll and other girly things that annoy Bella, they are still the best of friends and sisters as well. Then we have Carlisle. While we get to see him as a doctor in Twilight and New Moon, we don't get to see too much of how he's like the leader of the family. The one everyone goes to for help. In Eclipse we get to see a bit more of that while they plan on what to do about the killings in Seattle and a bit of the plan about the fight before handing it over to Jasper, since he has the know how about that.
- Rosalie's and Jasper's stories. While I don't think Nikki would be a good actress for a period piece with that blonde wig and dark eyebrows, I liked that they showed her story in the film even though Nikki looks better in clothes from this century. Jasper's on the other hand was just epic. There's these pieces where he's riding on horse back where my mind went to the gutter and other's where its close ups of him making out semi-hardcore with that Maria chick. Its hot. All of it. And I loved that they put it in the film even though I didn't get to see his scares because some idiot in front of me stood up to leave for some reason at that time so I missed it.
- Bella's scare from James. I loved that they put it in New Moon. But it was very silvery and very much would make any normal person go 'wtf!?' if they saw it and would raise questions with her peers at school. Eclipse still has it there, but its much less noticeable to the passerby. Her vains around the bite mark are more visible, but the actual bite mark its self matches her skin tone better and is harder to see. Which makes it better in my opinion.
- Humor. The movie had it. It needed it with all the love proclaiming and fighting in there - which are two different spectrums that are hard to put together into one movie like that. But the humor in the film made it easier and balanced everything out very well. And it was also not so much of things like the "charlie's halo/gun cock" scene in Twilight, but it was very much more verbal and so there was more laughter than for something like Twilight where people basically went "oh haha, did you see what they did there?" Yeah....really the humor is just more laughable for everyone in this film where as things like Charlie's scene stealers in Twilight are for only a certain type of person, everyone laughed at thought the humor in Eclipse was funny.
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